happiness

summer, originally uploaded by Kelly Johnson (duna).

There are few things sweeter in life than knowing your children are happy.

It's easy when they are young. A double-dip ice cream cone. A day at the beach. Bedtime deferred for a good book.

Then they grow up, go their own way, and you don't have the power to infuse their lives with happiness like you once did. They have to learn hard lessons without your intercedence; they must make choices and live with the consequences. Happiness isn't something you can micromanage on a Saturday afternoon.

Which is why it brings you to tears when you see it happen without you. And why you are filled with eternal gratitude to have witnessed it for even a few moments.

What I did on my summer vacation...

Today was MY first day of summer vacation.

When I was teaching, there were certain rituals and guilty pleasures tied to the beginning of freedom. I used to sit in the sun and read novels, yes novels, for the first full week. After I'd finished several volumes of mind-candy, I'd begin to make lists of things I'd like to do with all my free time and likely never would: finish the quilt I'd started last summer, reorganize all the closets, sand and paint the basement stairs, write my own novel, etc. It didn't matter that none of these goals were accomplished; it was the dreaming and listing that mattered. Eventually, I would settle for shampooing the carpeting and spending a few days in Michigan before I started to revamp lesson plans for the next school year.

Somehow, during the past five years of reinventing my life, I've talked myself out of a summer vacation. It's probably guilt. "I'm not bringing home a paycheck anymore so I better make myself useful." It's the middle of July, and before today, I haven't sat on my patio in the sunshine once.

Until today.

Today just felt like summer. So I acted like it was summer. I walked to the store for a few things. I de-furred my cats (well, 2 out of 3). I made sun tea. I sat in the sunshine and read. I planned dinner. I made a play-date for tomorrow.

Happy summer.  :)

Big brother

Big brother, originally uploaded by Kelly Johnson (duna).

Sometimes the violence and tragedy in the news makes me feel estranged from the rest of the world. My life is so peaceful; it's hard to imagine gunfire and bus explosions in my neighborhood.

Then I happen upon a quiet moment like this in Hebron, Israel. A family celebration, a rugrat that needs to be watched quietly, room full of books and friends and joy -- and I feel connected again.

Life is more about kids and books and family and celebrations than the other stuff. And despite our language and location, we all share this in common.